《指尖》(Fingertips)
When I look back, tracing fingertips over plastic bags
當我回想過去,我的指尖總是在塑膠袋上
Thinking, "I wish I could extrapolate some small intention
我想:「我真希望自己可以推斷出某些人的意圖
Or maybe just get your attention for a minute or two"
或者得到你一兩分鐘的注意」
Will I die? Or will get to that ten-year mark?
我會死嗎?還是我還會多活十年?
Where I beat the extinction of telomeres?
我能否超越端粒侵蝕?
And if I do, will you be there with me, Father, Sister, Brother?
要是我做到,爸爸、妹妹、弟弟,你們會陪着我嗎?
Charlie, stop smoking
查理,別再吸煙了
Caroline, will you be with me?
卡羅琳,你會陪在我身邊嗎?
Will the baby be alright?
你的孩子會平安長大嗎?
Will I have one of mine?
我也會有自己的孩子嗎?
Can I handle it even if I do?
那時候我能應付好嗎?
It's said that my mind
據說我的精神狀況
Is not fit, or so they said, to carry a child
不適合,或好像其他人說,不適合養育小孩
I guess I'll be fine
我想我應該沒有問題
It wasn't my idea, the cocktail of things that twists neurons inside
慢酌那些會改變神經細胞的雞尾酒並非我本意
But without them, I'd die
但要是沒有它們,我應該會死掉
They say there's irony in the music, it's a tragedy, I
他們說我的音樂有諷刺的意味,是個悲劇,但我
See nothing Greek in it
並不覺得像古希臘悲劇那樣
Give me a mausoleum in Rhode Island with Dad,
為我在羅德島州建個陵墓
Grandma, Grandpa, and Dave
在我爸、我祖父母和戴夫旁
Who hung himself real high
戴夫在國家公園的天空下
In the National Park sky, it's a shame and I'm crying right now
在高處上吊,這實在很可惜而我正為此落淚
To get to you, save you, if I take my life
我會以我的生命,接近你,拯救你
Find your astral body, put it into my eyes
找到你另一個次元的身體
Give you two seconds to cry
讓你哭兩秒
Take you home, I'll give you a blanket
帶你回家,給你一張毛毯
Your spirit can sit and watch TV by my side
你的靈魂可以坐在我旁看電視
'Cause, baby, I
因為,親愛的
Ran through a time when I felt you were doing it
我有段時間覺得你在吸毒
I couldn't handle it, I was in Monaco
我受不了,我當時在摩納哥
I couldn't hear what they said on the telephone
我聽不清他們在電話說甚麼
I had to sing for the prince in two hours
兩小時後我便要為王子唱歌
Sat in the shower
我坐在淋浴間
Gave myself two seconds to cry
讓自己哭兩秒
It's a shame that we die
真可惜我們都會死掉
When I was fifteen, naked, next-door neighbors did a drive-by
我十五歲時,全身赤裸,隔壁的鄰居駛至
Pulled me up by my waist, long hair to the beach side
把我拉出水中至沙灘上
I wanted to go out like you, swim with the fishes
我想像你那樣逝去,在羅德島州的海灘
That he caught on Rhode Island beaches
和魚群暢泳
But, sometimes, it's just not your time
但,有時候,時機不一定恰當
Caroline, what kind of mother was she to say I'd end up in institutions?
卡羅琳,他算是甚麼母親,怎麼可以說我最後會進精神病院?
All I wanted to do was kiss Aaron Greene and sit by
我只是想親吻亞倫.葛林
The lake, twisting lime into the drinks that they made
坐在湖邊,在他們弄的飲品中加點青檸果皮
Have a babe at sixteen, the town I was born in, and die
十六歲時在我出生的小鎮生孩子,然後老去死掉
Aaron ended up dead and not me
最後死去的是亞倫而非我
What the fuck's wrong in your head to send me away, never to come back?
把我送走、不讓我回家,你是他媽的瘋了嗎?
Exotic places and people don't take the place of being your child
異國的城市和人物不能取代我是你孩子的事實
I give myself two seconds to cry
我讓自己哭兩秒
Let it crash over me
讓悲傷摧毀我
Like the waves in the sea
就像一股股海浪般
Call me Aphrodite, as they bow down to me
稱我為阿芙蘿迪蒂,因他們臣服於我
Sunbather, moon chaser, queen of empathy
日光浴者,追月者,共情之后
I give myself two seconds to breathe
我給自己兩秒時間冷靜
And go back to being a serene queen
然後繼續當一個恬靜女皇
I just needed two seconds to be me
我只需要兩秒時間當回自己
沒有留言:
發佈留言